Hey there, MisWired here. And today I want to talk about the need for acceptance. More so, how we feel like we need to justify our existence by what we do. Something I've noticed about myself is that I judge my worthiness by how much I do, and how many people I help. And when someone questions that, my RSD kicks into high gear. The lack of acknowledgement that I've done something often reinforces my perceived notion that nothing I do is ever good enough. And yes, I know I'm trying my best, but the fact that I'm expected to do more is more than enough to wipe away any excitement that I have in what I did. Add this to the fact that people often believe that I'm using ADHD and Bipolar as an excuse, and you have a recipe for disaster.
I think the fact that there will always be people who will question whether I'm doing enough stops me from doing a lot. That whole notion of you could be doing more despite doing a lot keeps a lot of people from unmasking, myself included. And this is in a system that actively works against us. A system that forces us to accommodate others while actively ignoring our needs, then acting shocked when we don't live up to our "potential". I think this is why I have such a hard time accepting my wins. There's always a but, an asterisk, a question. More should have been done, despite having done a lot. We're constantly under pressure to work under stipulations that don't allow us to thrive. And I think that's one of the biggest stressors we have.
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