Hey there, MisWired here. And today I want to talk about underselling your abilities and struggles. This ties into a video I'm planning on doing about why I don't feel comfortable around people, but while I work on that, I wanted to discuss a recurring topic I found.
So as I thought about the reasons why I don't feel comfortable around others, I often found myself asking what benefit do I offer to others. And this has spilled over to my current work. It's hard for me to relate to others when I'm always hesitant about whether or not I'm truly good at something. And this affects my confidence around others, because I feel like they can sense that hesitance. And that makes them question whether the ability they see is truly there.
And because of that, I often find it hard to ask for help, especially when that help would help me improve. Especially when me asking for that help wouldn't benefit the other person. And because of that hesitance to ask for help, I often find myself falling behind on everything. I would rather put pressure on myself to figure things out on my own than let people see that I'm struggling to work things out and admit that I took on more than I could handle.
I think it became more noticeable to me after I started becoming a content creator because there are a lot of moving parts that I can't really do on my own. It's not that I have a fear of failure, it's more that I have a fear of disappointing others. I would much rather let myself down than let others down. That's really why my projects slowed down. I tried working on things that were beyond my abilities, or that my current equipment couldn't handle, but pushed it out because I told others I was doing it. If I took the time to work on it, I might be able to handle it. But then the voices in my head tell me that the longer I take, the more people will be upset. Even watching or reading content that I previously enjoyed has become tough because I feel like I have to learn some way to improve from them otherwise I'm wasting time.
Overall, when you've been conditioned to believe that your worth to society is dependent on how much you can offer, it's very easy to believe that if you think you don't offer much, then people don't want to be around you. And that often isn't the case.
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