Hey, MisWired here. And today I want to talk about how we as family, friends, and society have failed people with mental health challenges. And yes, I include myself in that statement, even though I struggle with challenges myself. To be perfectly honest, the fact that we even have to be pushed to talk about these things is a failure on our part. We like to pretend like everything is okay, that we're doing our absolute best for them, when nothing could be farther from the truth. And the latest developments, both in my home country of Kenya, the United States, and around the world, is a testament to how if you ignore something for too long, it will blow up in your face. In this post, I will try to explain some of the things that can lead up to something like this, hopefully doing it justice in the process.
The first aspect I would like to talk about is our families and friends. I felt like it was important to group these two groups together as they are more often than not the first people to interact with us. And more often than not, they are the ones who place the most pressure and spread the most misconceptions about mental health. The fact that most families would rather take a back seat when it comes to mental health, and feel like they can cherry pick the good moments while distancing themselves from the bad is one reason why mental health is such a difficult topic to bring up. I'm not saying that we are the easiest people to deal with, and I know for a fact that I'm one of the hardest people to talk about my struggles, but that doesn't give you a free pass from checking up on us, no matter how old we are or how "successful" we are, we still want to feel like we're important to someone. So taking a hands-off approach to someone with mental health challenges is the worst way to handle their struggles. Check up on them on a regular basis, not just when it suits you. It can make the difference between a good day and a bad day for some of us. We may not open up immediately, but given enough time, we will start to open up. I would also like to say that you shouldn't expect us to trust you with our struggles. I know I have made that mistake with many people, and many people have done with me. If it was up to many of us, we would never open up about our struggles. So the charge of us opening up shouldn't be 100% left to us. It should be a two way street.
As for society, all I can say is that we have thoroughly and utterly failed people with mental health challenges. From psychiatrists, therapists and medication being expensive, resources not being available at diagnosis, to some countries actively punishing mental health, we have gone wrong. What's even worse we have taken a caretaker based treatment perspective when the people who need it the most are the patients. You know, the ones with anxiety, depression, ADHD, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Autism, etc. While I'm saying that the people around us shouldn't be left to the wayside, they shouldn't be getting the most focus. Take me for example. How does it help me handle my ADHD and Bipolar when everyone is interested in helping my family. Yes it eases their struggles, but it does nothing to ease my fears. And that should be the biggest priority. We shouldn't be laid to the wayside for someone who doesn't fully understand what we're going through. At the end of the day, we are the ones who have to live with our struggles, who have to find ways to fit in a world not made for us. And the fact that society constantly pushes solutions not designed for as just because it works for them, is the height of entitlement.
At the end of the day, we all have a role to play in fighting for the rights for people with mental health challenges. Whether or not you feel it doesn't affect you, it ultimately does. Maybe not today, maybe not you personally, but it will, and it might be someone close to you. So when we speak up, you should listen. Otherwise things won't change until it's too late.
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