Hey there, MisWired here. And today I want to talk about communication. One thing that I’ve noticed during my time as a mental health advocate is that lived experiences are often sidelined in favor of expert opinions and caretaker experiences. And I feel because of that, our needs are not entirely taken care of. And what makes it even more frustrating is that more often than not, our concerns are often downplayed or we’re made to feel as if we’re just being selfish/entitled.
And this spreads often to when people ask about our experiences. People often want to hear that they’re doing everything they can, even when that isn’t the truth. And because of that, we often feel like we have to hide our needs so that we aren’t criticized for it. Add on top of that the belief that we should be the initiators for everything that has to do with our struggles, you can see why we often shy away from letting people know, especially when we feel like the other person wouldn’t take our concerns seriously.
I’ve noticed over the years that people often take disability, and more so mental disability since that’s what I personally have, as something that should be hidden unless you can take advantage of it. And because of that, we’re often pushed to be productive members of society often at the sacrifice of our own needs. And while I know that this isn’t exclusive to disability, we often have more to worry about in terms of what we need. And more often that not, it’s often a fight we end up doing by ourselves, not because there aren’t people who are willing to fight with us, but more often that people aren’t willing to fight beyond what is convenient for them. And that’s why you often see disability needs taking a back seat to the needs of caretakers.
At the end of the day, if you are serious about taking disability seriously, you need to start involving us more in the conversation. As an ADHDer, seeing mental health talked in Kenya in a way that makes it seem like we are the problem makes it hard for me to believe that things would ever change. And I do know that there are like minded people who are trying to change the narrative, but until we as a society stop seeing disability as an excuse for lazy people, a superpower in the case of neurodiversity, or even just fully negative, then I don’t see how we’ll be able to change the narrative.
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