Communication, the foundation of any relationship. Yet it's something I always find myself struggling with. It's not that I struggle with the talking part (though I do sometimes struggle with that), it's more that I struggle putting across what I'm thinking or feeling. Because of this, I often get misunderstood. And to be fair, I don't blame people. I could do a better job. But at the same time, I often feel like often I'm not given the same benefit of the doubt that I'm expected to give to others. Because of this, I often just bottle up, leaving my feelings to the page.
There's a patience that is often expected with communication. But when you're used to being in the wrong, you don't extend that patience to yourself. I often forget that in order to communicate with others, you need to be able to communicate with yourself. And I'm not sure if this extends to other ADHDers, but I wasn't shown how to communicate with myself. I kinda went with the flow and adapted when I was criticised.
That criticism is what undermines our ability to communicate with others. Not just as neurodivergents, but as people in general. When you're afraid to upset others, you become afraid to speak your mind. And that fear is what leads to a lot of disconnect between people.
Regardless of what happens, we need to understand that our feelings are valid. That's something I've been coming to terms with. People pleasing is something that is second nature to me, but it isn't always the best course of action. And that is the first step, but is by far the hardest one.
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